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We do abortions here; that is all we do. There are weary, grim moments when I think I cannot bear another basin of bloody remains, utter another kind phrase of reassurance. So I leave the procedure room in the back and reach for a new chart.

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I couldn't be here if I tried Tisdal judge each case on its merits; after all, we do over a hundred abortions a week. I shoulder the burden of trying not to judge them. The young woman went to the local crisis center and was told that the doctor would make her touch her dismembered baby, that the pain would be the most horrible she could imagine, and that she might, after an abortion, never be able to have children.

All lies.

Out of time

Abortion is so routine that one expects it to be like a manicure: quick, cheap, and painless. Its existence is an error. He inserts a plastic tube and hooks it to a hose on the machine. We talk glibly about choice. The procedure is disarmingly simple. I don't say "pain" any more than I would say "baby.

When a deliveryman comes to the sliding glass window by the reception desk and tilts a box toward me, I hesitate. The doors are carefully locked.

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He interrupted a conversation with his cor to ask if I could tell whether the baby would be a boy or a girl. More like this.

Soon I am talking to an eighteen-year-old woman pregnant for the fourth time. I know the weight of a baby's head on my shoulder, the whisper of lips on ears, the delicate curve of a fragile spine in my hand.

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I can sweep the horizon with both eyes, survey the scene in all its distance and size. I like the sudden transient bonds I forge with some clients: moments when I am in my strength, remembering weakness, and a woman in weakness reaches out for my strength. I read the packing slip, assess the shape and weight of the box in light of its supposed contents. Freedom from biology.

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The creature I watch in secret requires nothing from me but to be left alone, and that is precisely what won't be done. They are small offices staffed by volunteers, and they offer free pregnancy testing, glossy photos of dead fetuses, and movies. Each basin I empty is a promise—but a promise broken a nrw time ago. Their virtue arises and falls outside their own nature: they become only what we make them.

An eighteen-year-old woman with three daughters brought her husband to the interview. We do abortions here; that is all we do.

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In the first trimester of pregnancy, it's a mere few minutes of vacuuming, a neat tidy up. The anticipation of the moment has finally come to fruit; the moment has arrived when the loss is no longer an imagined one. Tisdale revealed how emotional it was for her to reunite with her former cast mates at the time in a now-deleted behind-the-scenes featuretteaccording to a Jan.

Like many women my age, I took the pill as soon as I was sexually active. Im person might discuss certain concerns, behind closed doors, or describe a particularly disturbing dream. Both challenge me to find a balance. The law defines the contents of the bucket I hold protectively against my chest as "tissue. Whether the blame flr in a failed IUD, a slipped condom, or a false impression of safety, that fetus is a thing whose creation has been actively worked against.

A forty-two-year-old mother of teenagers, shocked by her condition, refusing to tell her husband. One kind of question though, I find, considerably trickier.

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Its uncertainty lies in specific cases: retarded women and girls too young to give consent for surgery, women who are ill or hostile or Tixdale. And the answer is yes, sometimes it is. As I walk down the hall with the woman, as we get settled in chairs and I glance through her files, I am trying to gauge her, to get a sense of the words, and the tone, I should use.

When Maggie told me about it the next day, she cupped her hands Tisdwle a small bowl—"it was just like a little kitten," she said softly, wonderingly. I look at abortion as if I am standing on a cliff with a telescope, gazing at some great vista.

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How can we do this? But birth control fails far more frequently than laboratory trials predict.

There are weary, grim moments when I think I cannot bear another basin of bloody remains, utter another kind phrase of reassurance. Then the machine rumbles low and loud in the small windowless room; the doctor moves the tube back and forth with an efficient rhythm, and the long tail of it filled with blood psople spurts and stumbles along into a jar. What I offer is not power, but solidness, offered Lkoking eagerly.

She is surprised to find herself nearly four months pregnant. It isn't negligence, but I don't always pay attention.

The doctor reaches in her, opening the narrow tunnel to the uterus with a succession of slim, smooth bars of steel. But all it takes for me to catch my breath is another interview, one more story that sounds so much like the last one.

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If the word "Arepo" is taken as a proper name, it may be translated as "Arepo, the sower, delays the wheel with his work", or possibly "Arepo, the sower, holds the wheel at work".

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