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But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapistto help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions will remain anonymous. Please send your sex and relationship inquiries to tips bustle. I have mostly met women online, where it is easy to make my orientation obvious.

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No gender, sexual orientation, or question aa off limits, and all questions will remain anonymous. Unfortunately for us, when we decide we prefer riding the queer train and hop off at station "Girl-On-Girl," there is no tour guide to greet us and lead the way which is particularly sad, seeing as lesbians make for excellent tour guides. If they aren't, that's fine.

But they have NO right to be offended by you hitting on them when in lesbian land. Or you can be the bitch that pays.

How do Lesbiah find other lesbian women? I didn't match with anyone for a while, until We are taught the rules of the boy-girl dating game at an early age. This is an issue that many femme lesbians identify with.

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Everything I learned about girl-on-girl dating was through trial and error. Lesbians are usually nice and friendly to fresh meat and are more than happy to welcome you into the fold a little too happy sometimes.

That's when I started matching with the girls I liked. I put in my profile: Totally gay, seeking the same.

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What's she going to do, tell her friends how "easy" you are? Also, if you don't like bars, you're lesbizn fine! Look For Events Invisibility is a pretty big issue in the lesbian community, and there are a lot of women who feel the exact same way you do. Don't feel like now that you're gay you have to cut your hair off and exclusively wear blazers. Go and talk to her!

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Also, lesbian culture, by nature, is extremely elusive. I'm living proof. No one is going to know you're gay just by looking at you everyone rocks short hair and flannel these daysso make sure everywhere you go, you slip in your sexual identity. Do whatever feels right. Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapistto help us out with the details. ot

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Check-splitting isn't sexy. But girls are an entirely different kind of animal.

Lesbin yes, duhhh, you can meet girls anywhere. One of the best parts about your new gay life is now that you're finally out of that repressive closet and are embracing your sexual identitya whole new world inside of you will come to life.

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However, I don't recommend girlfriend-hunting at a straight bar in those fragile early days of your gayness. But if that's not your jam, don't feel the pressure to play the part. Plus, trying to find another woman to date can feel lesblan an even more frustrating s game at times.

Karma will surely bite her in the ass, and she will die, sexless and surrounded by aging fjnd. At the end of the day, we are a community.

But don't fret. At the very least, having a little more understanding and support can feel very comforting.

There is always a lesbian art walk, or book club, or walk across the Brooklyn Bridge. Please, dear god, make me a gay man in my next life.

A friend setup is always the best way to meet cool people. Go to the lesbian bar alone.

Women are drawn to authenticity. You're safe now. You and the chick you're dating will figure out a rhythm that works for you. This is not a time in your life to leabian smug.

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